1. |
Postcard One
00:41
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Dear R.
I’m leaving you this note cuz I gotta leave something. I’m taking everything else. J’s done lost it, and we’re leaving in a half-hour. Don’t know where to. I’ll call you from the road, but don’t tell mom. I’ll call her soon
enough. I’ll come for you as soon as I can, promise. And I promise to pay you back every cent. Pinky swear. I’ll send you postcards once J and I land, but not at home. I’ll figure where to send ‘em. Don’t tell. I love you,
and I promise, I’m gonna make good of all this bad, and then I’m gonna get you.
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2. |
Drive
04:02
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I need something burning
I need something clean
I know this for certain
I need gasoline
So we can get down together and drive drive drive drive
So we can then get together and drive drive drive drive
Meet me in the morning
By the riverbed
Leave the life you're living
Leave the things you said
So we can then get together and drive drive drive drive
So we can then get together and drive drive drive drive
You know you know they'd rather keep us here
Than let us go and in the rearview mirror
get smaller.
Yes, they say I'm crazy
Baby, it's true
I'm a little crazy
But then, so's the moon
You know you know they'd rather keep us here
Than let us go, oh come with me my dear
And we can watch them in the rearview mirror
get smaller.
We got one chance to go, babe
they’ll never understand
it’s now or never
come take my hand
just take my hand
just take my hand
You know you know they'd rather keep us here
than let us go, oh come with me my dear
and we can watch them in the rearview mirror
and we can watch them in the rearview mirror
and we can watch them in the rear view mirror
and we can watch them in the rear view mirror
get smaller.
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3. |
Postcard Two
00:56
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Dear R.
The drive out here was endless. Wish you coulda been with us. There was this one dawn in Arizona- looked like an egg yolk broke across the entire sky. It was so beautiful, I wish I coulda mailed it right to you. J and I drove
through it all- swamps and the deserts and everything. I picked up m& m’s at gas stops, and chucked ‘em out of the car to measure our distance. I got new heels, did I tell you, and a new purse that’s actual leather. We got an apartment, fleabag and broken faucets, but it’s ours. J says she’s gonna paint everything gold. When we walk down the Boulevard, she says to look at everyone’s lips. Says, “It’s rich to think that one day, they’re all gonna learn to say our names.” She shines like a bullet in this California sun. Still won’t tell me what happened back home.
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4. |
Shotgun Wedding
03:30
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I was the bullet of a shotgun wedding
born of bad blood, at ten already
knew that love was a thing you ran from
been speeding since, gaining momentum
Hot sun and silver heels
the more it hurts, the better it feels,
kaboom kapow’s how the the heart’s hit
been bruised, and nobody kissed it
So it’s, booze till the midnight
blues till I’m alright
who’s gonna let me break a bit
The truth’s getting hard to
find, but now baby
I’m getting used to the ache of it
the ache of it
Slick coins and snakeskin leather
jukebox boys are mine forever
I slip through the cracks of a heartbreak
whiskey hot, dance till the stars shake
Black crows on lemon trees
How desire brings you down to your knees
All ash, the sky is broke
All us angels have gone up in smoke
Blue moon’s a shot glass eye
pour it down your throat and kiss it goodbye
the truth, we try, and borrow
against the sun, leave why for tomorrow
So it's booze till the midnight
blues till I’m alright
who’s gonna let me break a bit
The truth's getting hard to
find, but now baby
I’m getting used to the ache of it
the ache of it
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5. |
Postcard Three
00:57
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Dear R.
LA’s weird. It’s like being in another country. Or I guess it is. You know how back home, we lay out in the sun with iced tea, just to feel the sun? Well, here, everyone avoids the sun, making a great big deal of it with sunglasses and lotions, but then they all go to tanning booths. I think it’s weird, but J. thinks it’s glamorous. I got a job stocking a bar, which is good, I guess, but it’s strange. At night it’s a real party place, but during the day, it’s full of all these people who seem broken. Like, remember that cat we found on the side of the road that couldn’t walk right? And we tried to get it to come with us, but it only stared at us with those yellow eyes? LA’s like that. Up and down the boulevard, all you see are superheroes and Madonnas. But once you hit the side streets, it’s all these cats.
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6. |
Different Sun
04:03
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I awoke under a different sun one day
I arose in the same way I suppose
but had a different sort of heat on my face
And my feet found a different sort of floor
Every step was a minuet, yeah,
common time fell away to three four.
And the light it looks different
in the rearview mirror
and the past was a hell sent
but it brought me here
Mary-ann is a pretty pretty girl
Coulda been a movie star, her name in bright lights
underneath her tongue, a pearl
Now she sits with a broken angel grace
slumped over ever since they sawed her angel wings off
left her with shoulder blades
Every night she remembers
the first mistake
says, ‘I only keep drinking
so my hands won’t shake.’
Outside there’s a red moon rising
bleeding over everybody’s dream
so it comes to compromising
What stays dirty
What must you keep clean?
Take a heart, take a nickel for it’s worth
find a slot kick it in and hope jackpot
you know every day’s another curse
but it’s hard, it’s the last back alley proof
it ain’t a lot, but babe it’s all you got
all these lies gotta build a truth
And the mirror is cracked now
you still see your face
the past is a fact now
that you can’t erase
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7. |
Postcard Four
00:34
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Dear R.,
J got a new job. It’s at another bar, but I don’t like this one. All the guys are skeezy and she has to wear a slutty uniform. I hate it. She says this job’ll bring in more money, but it doesn’t feel right. Everyone working there is
either a actress or a model. They all look the same. J says it’s all part of a game and she’s gotta play it, but that makes me nervous, cuz I know how J. is at games. She’s always gotta win.
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8. |
Own this Town
03:24
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the boys hot, lean out of the window
lips apart, tongues suck fast
little smile, and pull out my lip-gloss
lip-gloss girls are meant to last
I’ll take my tears and form a crown
and soon they'll know
I own this town
Mama said, step out from the fire
but little girls we love to burn
pretty soon it's all you desire
well sit down boys, now it's your turn
the scars I wear will be my gown
and soon they'll know
I own this town
get ready for the queen boys
get ready for the queen now honey
get ready for the queen boys
get ready for the queen now honey
Five bucks, I’m all out of filters
Don't think I don't know the trade
it's skin for sin, sin for shelter
I think I know how queens are made
the scars I wear will be my gown
and soon they'll know
I own this town
get ready for the queen boys
get ready for the queen now honey
get ready for the queen boys
get ready for the queen now honey
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9. |
Postcard Five
01:16
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Dear R,
J’s, changing. She met some producer while working at that fajita bar. His teeth are too white and his knuckles are raw. She keeps on going to those acting classes to keep up her talent. It’s in a strip mall, and I have to wait next door at the 7-11 drinking slurpees and flipping through magazines till she’s done so I can get a ride home. No one said LA was all this road. I thought we’d be here once we got here, but I always feel like we need to take a right or something, that we’ll arrive after the third green light. I think of fireflies on the porch now. Your electric kool-aide, and smoking Parliaments to race the dawn. All J wants to do now is go to bars to
try and meet directors. Her eyes have gotten even brighter out here. It’s like she entered the tv. We passed a billboard for Hooters the other day, and the girl on the top was all stretched out like a plate of chicken. She
looked just like J. You should’ve seen her. Same cat smile, except blonde. I was laughing, and J. laughed too, but after a while, she tilted her head. You could tell she wanted to be spread across the sky like that.
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10. |
Make Me Famous
04:52
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Goddamn your crooked little heart / you want so much I pity
the girl we left behind / when we burned into this city
Your need has turned you hard / your smile’s almost mean
You swagger through the neon, taking in the scene
It's karaoke 2 ams / your whiskey wasted drinking
holding microphones like rosaries / all night you keep singing
Make me famous / make me known
cuz I can’t make it in this world all alone
Make me famous / baby please
because now nobody loves me / because now I am alone
Make me famous / before you go
I remember when before we hit LA
How you held my hand so sweet on the interstate
you rolled the window down, the wind picked up your hair
screaming out against the sun, life was truth or dare
but now baby, you’re silent to all their limousines
your eyes they sparkle hard like diamonds, it makes me wanna scream
Make me famous / make me known
cuz I can’t make it in this world all alone
make me famous / baby please
because now nobody loves me / because now I am alone
make me famous / before you go
Did I lose you then / did I lose you on that drive
cuz you were in full bloom under that Arizona sky
they’re never gonna know, they’re never gonna see
how beautiful you were back then, so baby look at me
Make me famous / make me known
cuz I can’t make it in this world all alone
make me famous / baby please
because now nobody loves me / because now I am alone
make me famous / before you go
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11. |
Postcard Six
00:56
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Dear R,
It’s Friday night. And it’s raining. J’s out working. Don’t wanna tell you where. I got some Chinese food from the place downstairs, but I don’t wanna eat it. The neon light from their sign comes in through the
window, and it’s flickering. Makes me sick. J’s doing all these things I don’t understand. Hanging out with all these people from work, not telling me where she is. She says I’m acting like her mom, but truth is I’m just
worried. When we got here, she was all beautiful and open, but now it’s like something’s locked deep inside her, and she can’t get it out. Sometimes I wake up at night and she’s crying. I try and make her feel ok, but that just makes it worse. I don’t know what to do anymore.
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12. |
My Love
04:54
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Here is the hand on my chest
I am the palm that lays waiting
Still in the night,
I’m anticipating
I wait for your face
to blacken the doorframe
I fall asleep
whispering your name
I was your alternate sun
oh how we danced in the kitchen
now you turn everyone
into ammunition
You strike me with words
I’m stripped of my powers
and quiet I stand
until the hours turn into days
holding the only thing that remains
My love
Yours is the body of hope
I trace your hip in the morning
and laying there still
your eyes light a warning
But every time that you smile
it sends me reeling
Though I give all I have
why’s it feel like you’re stealing
you always want more
before you walk out the door
My love
I’d take care of you safe if you’d just let me know
the names of the scars you refuse to let go
Here is a heart that won’t quit
here is a sky and it’s thunder
and in the tide of desire
again, I’m pulled under
I build a fire at night
and the flames tend to consume me
ashes to ashes I fight
while you softly say to me
‘you don’t understand’
and then leave me, a match in my hand.
My love
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13. |
Postcard Seven
00:31
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Dear R,
Sorry I haven’t written in awhile. I just don’t feel like I have words these days. J’s making me so angry, but I can’t say it. Anytime I say anything, it just pushes her farther away. So I don’t. Feels like I’m filling up with cement. It’s weird. I feel so strong, but like I could break at any minute.
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14. |
Hate Becomes You
03:56
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|||
hate becomes you, darling, I wouldn’t wanna take it away
toss a cigarette across your face, across the dirty black day
so this is what I want, this is what I want for you
what do you think, can you give it to me the way I asked you
you say you like it when I take what I want
so baby baby come on, give me some sugar
don’t wanna take it from me you’re not going take it from anyone else
take a red shirt, put it on, come on let’s play
the sun is rising high , it’s hot on my face, you’d better like it
this is love, this is love when there’s no regret
you think you’ve seen the worst from me, you ain’t seen nothing
you ain’t seen nothing
you ain’t seen nothing yet
just because you call it love, when you say it to my face
doesn’t mean that I have to like it
you know I wouldn’t take it from you or from anyone else
There’s nothing here that isn’t magic, couldn’t you tell
I’ll bring you to me like a mirror, what do you have to say for yourself
just because I’m a lover that has let you down
doesn’t mean that if I say that I don’t like it
you can’t make-believe that I’m just part of the crowd
so here it is, lick my lips, sir take it away
just because before you said you couldn’t taste it
cause if you don’t take it from me that means you can’t take it from
anyone else anyone else anyone else anyone else anyone else anyone else anyone else anyone
else
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15. |
Postcard Eight
00:34
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Dear R.
I don’t know what happened. Something happened. J. hasn’t been home for two nights and she just called to say she’s not coming back. I don’t know what it means. She says she’s in love with some dentist. Some guy.
I’ve given everything to her. I feel nothing, nothing except that my chest is like a cave, and in it, her name is echoing.
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16. |
Red Heart
04:21
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I had taken my red heart
I had given it to you
Now it echoes in my chest
Now the wind passes through
Like a bird flying away
is my breath every time
and it soars over the sea
to the cage that was mine
How you held my body
Evidently you still do
now it echoes in me
now the wind passes through
And don’t you remember dear
when the days were ours
we’d drive under skies so crystal clear and blue
Everything we did was God
we had to call it love
and nothing else has ever filled me
fuller than
you
How you held my body
Evidently you still do
now it echoes in me
now the wind passes through
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17. |
Postcard Nine
00:47
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Dear R.
I can’t take it anymore. It’s been 6 months since J. let. I’m still paying her half of the bills cuz mine’s the only name on the lease. I’m taking my last paycheck and heading East. Don’t know where. Maybe Colorado. Maybe Georgia. I’ll let you know when I get there, but I’m gonna need some time. This is heartache. I know it now, good and true. I’m never gonna know it again, I’ll tell you that much. I’ll call you once I’m settled. Take care of mom. Take care of you. I’ll write you when I’ve figured this out. Until then, I
love you, little sis.
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18. |
The Game
03:15
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when I played the game, I played it well
gave it my all, I ran like hell
oh oh oh
running hard, the sun against the sky
the sweat would fall into my eye
oh oh oh
Now I see I was running for a prize
the way I looked, in your eyes,
and now I’m sorting out the lies
oh oh oh
the starting gun, it echoes clear
still resonates within my ear
oh oh oh
an empty field, the sun so high
I wrap my arms around the sky
oh oh oh
now I know, it was really just a game
the starting gun, you called my name
nearly died just for a kiss
you walked away, now I’m like this
oh oh oh
yeah, now I see there were no lines
just the earth and all the signs
of people clapping are erased
I can not look you in the face
oh oh oh
the sky was blue, but now it’s black
I can not even see the track
no finish line, no turning back
now I see, it was just a game
it had it’s rules, it had your name
and now I don’t wanna play
oh oh oh
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19. |
Postcard Ten
00:50
|
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20. |
I'll Come Running
03:59
|
|||
I love it when you call me baby
I love it when you hold my hand
I'll come running
I'll come running
to be right by your side when you feel you are a broken man
I love it when you call me sweetheart
it brings me to very knees
I’ll come running
I’ll come running
when you can’t say the words and only say, baby please
When the stars fell down in Texas
we were spinning in the air
and the universe was crying for us
though we thought before it didn’t care
I love it when you hold me harder
the further that you run away
I'll come running
I'll come running
right back to your arms just like when you loved me yesterday
When the stars fell down in Texas
we were spinning in the air
and the universe was crying for us
though we thought before it didn’t care
So take me though you know my silence
and in the shadow of regret
I’ll come running
I’ll come running
right back to your arms when you're ready to say yes
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Sabrina Chap Brooklyn, New York
Called a 'cross between Julie Andrews and Divine', Sabrina Chap is a vaudevillian performer and songwriter who will leave you laughing till you cry. Bawdy, hilarious, and sweet as hell- her lyrics are always personal while winking at this crazy world we live in. ... more
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